One Month! 07-16-21 to 07-22-21

7-16-2021: How? How is it possible that our miracle baby is a month old today? I am beside myself today with angst at how quickly time is passing. Pastor Matt Chandler always said "long days and short years," and he was right. The days and nights are long but it seems unfair to me that four whole weeks have already passed by! Finally, I am able to sit down and get caught up on my blogs and my heart is happy because of it! The days fly by and before I know it, it's noon, then 5, then 9pm and time to crawl into bed after a long day with our sweet newborn. I had planned to take Chandler on a walk tonight but he fell asleep about an hour ago and I can't bring myself to wake him up! He's nestled on Brandon's chest and we're all sitting cozily on the couch as the day unwinds. To look over and see my husband holding our tiny baby is something I'll never be able to describe. It's a gift from God, that's what it is. It's something Heavenly that this world could never come close to offering me. Thank you, God for all you have done and for this beautiful little life that we get to be a part of. 

Chandler slept a bit more last night, about 2.5hr increments instead of 2. Knowing it's not safe to co-bed but also knowing time is flying and the baby snuggles will be only a memory soon, I make a little time every morning with the 4am feeding to lay him next to me in bed and we sleep side by side, snuggled up for a few hours until the next feeding. It's the best hours of my whole day and I love feeling him next to me. Even better is when Brandon comes in and slides in behind me and we sleep cozied up as a family of three. Brandon can't come in every morning depending on his work schedule, but when he does, it's the best feeling ever. This morning, when Brandon came to bed, I slid over to the other side and we put little Chandler between us. It was Heaven! Otherwise, when we go to bed, I either put him in his pack-n-play bassinet beside the bed, or in his dok-a-tot in our bed right next to me but this keeps us somewhat separated for safe sleeping. The dok-a-tot in bed is my favorite because I am close enough to hear him breathing, cough, spit up, etc... and I can still pat him to sleep/keep my hand on him as we fall asleep. It also makes for easier nightly feedings! I just scoop him out of it, breastfeed him, and then lay him back down. Until two nights ago, I had trouble with him staying asleep once I put him in it but I started warming it up with a low setting heating pad and then taking it out of-course before I put him in it. Once I started that, he seems to fall right back asleep. Sweet little fella!! Once we were up, I got him dressed for the day choosing his "coming home outfit" because I love that little gown, love the memories of picking it out for his coming home outfit, because he's going to outgrow it before I know it, and because today is his 4 week birthday! My baby is a month old today!!! It is killing me! 

Since he didn't want to nap, we played on his activity mat, which he is starting to really enjoy and every now and then, I'm seeing him track something for just a second! He especially loves the little frog toy that hangs above and is filled with crinkle paper so it makes noise! He really seems to take to that and it's so fascinating watching him gravitate toward certain things! I just love him so much! After mat time, I took some one month milestone photos with his monthly-date blanket Lovie got him and his first little bunny. He wasn't a big fan of his at-home photo session but I finally got him to look at me and got a few good photos to remember this special day! During the middle of it, Brandon said hi to us from the Nanit camera and asked me what the heck we were doing, ha! It was so sweet that he was keeping an eye on us while at work and I loved hearing him tell us he loved us and would be home soon! Sweet daddy! Afterward, Chandler was ready for milk and a nap! This was perfect timing because I fed him from about 1230-1300, and then he fell asleep on my chest! Instead of putting him down, I just rocked him a cried. It hit me that I have a 4 week old baby and day-by-day our perfect pregnancy and perfect birth experience gets a little bit older. I never ever want to forget how amazing that day was! It was truly the very best day of my life and the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. I rocked him and just let the tears fall- tears of joy and thanks, some of sadness because time is stealing from me, and some of praise. I spent the next hour thanking God for what He has done, praying over my son to know the Lord and lead a fruitful life, praying for guidance for Brandon and I to raise him in the ways of the Lord, praying over Brandon, and spending time in the Lord's presence. Watching the clock, as it neared 1:59, I began looking over his birth photos and then I just closed my eyes and recounted that amazing day! Every detail I could remember, I thought of, cherished, and tucked back into my heart. I kissed his head, wished him a happy one month birthday, and held him close. I needed this moment with him so much and once it had passed, and I was ready, I laid him down in his baby lounger in his crib where he naps. Mom always says "time is a thief." Now, I know she is right. I've never felt more desperate to hang onto something in my whole life! I'm cherishing every single second and am so thankful I get to be at home with my little fella! 

Brandon got home, ordered dinner (he had pizza and he ordered me a dairy-free subway sandwich), and then we played with Chandler on his mat again. He is getting so good a tummy time! When we started last week, he would cry after a few minutes but today he last 13 minutes and was calm the whole time! We even got a few little coos out of him and I am in love with them! We are working really hard to get him to look/lean toward his left and strengthen that side of his neck because he tends to favor the right side so much! He's doing great and making a lot of progress! I'm so proud of him! We must have worn him out because he fell asleep over an hour ago and hasn't made a peep since! Part of me wants to wake him up to feed him so we can go to bed together, but part of me also knows to never wake a sleeping baby! In the meantime, I'm enjoying the quiet time and opportunity to reflect on our big day and catch up on my blog! Another thing we did today was start Aquaphor ointment on his little baby acne because the past few days, it seems like the baby acne is getting better but a mild case of cradle cap is starting. Either that or really dry skin! I gave him a gentle little face/forehead massage with Aquaphor while rocking him and he fell right to sleep! I'll have to remember this for days he is restless and fighting sleep! I've also noticed that, like me, he seems to like having his head patted and he almost can't go to sleep without having his back pat or rubbed! Sweet little guy! 

7-17-21: 

7-18-21: Much, much better morning and day! Chandler slept in two hour increments last night and one 2.5hr increment, which is his normal. He was much more calm during the night and not nearly as restless or squirmy. His face is much better and a lot of the inflammation is gone! We still have some healing to do but it's amazing what 16hrs of steroid cream and intense lubrication has done for our little angel! I'm incredibly relieved and so thankful for Brandon's support, SW Peds and the NP/Dr. Chapa that helped us yesterday! It makes me want to be an even better NP and help people knowing how desperate I was for help for my baby! We spent the morning snuggling and medicating his face, and Lovie got some more lovin' before heading home to Dallas. I hate to see her go and tried everything to get her to stay, but she wanted to get home and enjoy her Monday off before going back to work. For the afternoon, Daddy ordered us a yummy meal from Luby's and the three of us enjoyed a relaxing afternoon as a family of 3. Daddy and Chandler napped on the couch, and I finally (finally) got to take a nap in our bed by myself! Thankful for a much better day and healing for our sweet baby.