10 months!

May 3rd, 2022: Today is my 37th birthday and Chandler is the best present I could ever ask for! It's crazy how my birthday snuck up on me this year but it's been a great one so far. It's a Tuesday and we've been celebrating my birthday all weekend up to now. Saturday was especially wonderful  

May 7th: Whew! This mom life is challenging at times! While there is absolutely nothing like it and I wouldn't trade it for the world, some days are just bad. Little Chandler slept through the night for the 5th night in a row and I am so, so proud of him! Our new favorite thing is to get him up in the morning,  together. Brandon and I rush in there at the first "fuss" and scoop him up! We cheer him on, smile, and have the sweetest moments as a family. It truly melts my heart. Today started that way, but he was just not up for cooperating today! Breakfast as normal, fresh strawberries and raspberries, story time (which he is really starting to get into and enjoy), and lots of play time... but nap time nightmares soon followed. He was so tired and as soon as I laid him down after falling asleep rocking/nursing, up pops his little head and he fussed for 20 minutes. When his fuss changed into a cry (amazing how you learn their little cries), I went to check on him and I see that he had somehow bit his little lip (probably on the crib) and was bleeding! Ugh the saddest thing!! I rescued him, got him settled, rocked, and then we ditched the nap effort and took a wagon walk instead. We talked to Lovie and Granna on the phone, checked the mail, and made our way back home. Daddy was getting in from him ride so we all played in the nursery for a bit before daddy suggested I take a break. He can sense when I'm reaching my limits and I appreciate that about him. He took Chandler and before I was even able to leave, he had him cozy on the couch, sound machine going, and napping engaged. Big breaths!! I grabbed my computer, threw on my favorite purple "Mommy and Chandler" dress and headed to my new favorite coffee shop, The HIVE. The same one we tried on my birthday. I love that it's 2 minutes away, huge inside, and very cozy! I'm close to home yet able to clear my mind. Starting my time away with this blog entry, then going to finish student evals and warp up my semester (Thank you, Lord), and then plan on doing some online shopping and First Birthday planning for my little fella. I'm so thankful for this time away and although it's hard to make myself leave the house and my boys, I'm so appreciative when I get out and can change my focus onto "me" for a little bit. I got a yummy blueberry muffin and iced matcha green tea latte (my new summer favorite and outing go-to drink), and found a cozy corner to work. Enjoying this time and turn this afternoon has made. 

May 8th: Today is my first Mother's Day! The boys woke me up with my favorite, glazed donuts and chocolate milk from the donut shop. It was extra special bc when I was pregnant in the last month, after some of my OB appts on the way home, Chandler and I would stop by the donut shop and get a glazed donut and chocolate milk. I haven't been back since I was pregnant so this was really sweet! We had a great time at church and a beautiful family moment that I'll never forget. During the end worship, I walked Chandler up to the front stage setup so he could stand up, play, and watch Charlie play the guitar. Chandler loved it and as I was helping him stand, Brandon popped up and sat down in the floor with us. We all worshiped as a family and it really took all I had to not cry happy tears of such a beautiful family moment. We just worshipped and sat right there in the floor with one another, under the Holy Spirit and surrounded by God's love. 

After church, we went to our favorite sushi place, enjoyed a nice lunch, and then home to relax. I treated myself to a nap with Chandler in the rocker while he slept on my chest. I didn't want to break the sleep training progress but I also couldn't resist taking this opportunity to snuggle with my baby. The day was great and we enjoyed being together. I love my own mom so very much and am thankful for all she does for me. 

May 18th: We have an 11month old! I absolutely can't believe it! Time is truly flying and I find myself realizing that my baby is about to be a toddler! I miss him being a newborn so much but he is in such a fun stage now and I wouldn't take for it! 7-11months have really been exciting and his little personality has really started to show. 

May 20th: This week is the absolute pits!!! We are all sick! We feel absolutely miserable and have no choice but to tough it out and just keep moving forward. It Started about a week ago, on Thursday, the 12th in the evening. Little Chandler started having a runny nose and I so desperately was hoping it was simply because we had been outside a lot doing yard work and playing at the park. I think I knew in my mommy heart that he was getting sick but really hoped otherwise. Sure enough, he woke up Friday morning with 100.3 fever, funny nose, flushed, and obviously not feeling well. Thankfully, he tested negative for COVID and his ears looked okay. Lots of snuggles, Motrin, and hydration for our little fella was the plan of action. Unfortunately, I missed my students pinning but there's no where else I'd rather be than with my sweet baby. A few days passed and he perked up, but then it hit Brandon and I. Being sick with a baby, when you and your spouse are both really sick is a whole new world. To say we are suffering is putting it gently. Every waking minute I was to cry. My head pounds, fever is off/on, and all the respiratory symptoms are in full force now. We are both rooting each other on and trying to keep up good attitudes. Brandon goes to work, I stay home and take care of Chandler and then we all crash in the evening. Today, Chandler and I made a trip to Randall's and as painful as grocery shopping was, we did it! I made a big pot of chicken and dumplings for us and they were great. We still got a walk in this evening, even though it was short... just trying to keep up the routine we've established and keep Chandler on his schedule. He is doing SO great with his schedule and I don't want' to be the reason it gets interrupted. After we put him to bed, I soaked in a long hot LUSH bath and for a moment, my head felt better. This is truly something else but I'm praying that tomorrow is the turning point! We missed swim class this week, outdoor fun, and his wildflower photo shoot- all things that have been rescheduled but man, I hate missing fun times with him. 

In other exciting news, Chandler LOVES mildly spicy foods! We were shocked! Brandon picked us up our favorite Madam Ma'ams Tom Kai soup and green curry this week and Chandler just would not leave out plates alone. In a gentle effort to let him learn that it was spicy (not too spicy to hurt him but surely didn't think he'd like it), I let him have a nibble and that sparked a full on fight for more! He loved it! 

Perhaps the biggest change this week is that Chandler will get to start cow's milk! We got the go-ahead from Dr. Wagner that it should be safe! So, as my milk supply declines in relation to his own natural weaning and interest in real food, I will continue nursing when he wants but we will be adding cows milk into his diet to replace any formula we supplemented with. I'm excited because we will see how he likes dairy and if he has outgrown his dairy intolerance from his first month of life! 

Other new things are that Chandler has really taken a liking to balls! He has several and now seems to just love them! He actually picks them up and throws them! He amazes us every single day and we love him so very, very much! He is also very, very close to taking off walking!!!! Ahhhh!! He will take 4-5 wobbly little steps and then back to crawling! I love watching him and am so proud of him! He also has found his tongue and enjoys sticking it out every chance he can, is self soothing for naps and bedtime, and loves to pull his clothes out of his dresser and attempt to put them on! It is the cutest thing! I love our 11month old so much and can't believe he is about to be one! 

May 21: Thank you, Jesus! I woke up today still sick but definitely not worse and my head feels better! So thankful to know that this is the turning point and tomorrow will be much, much better! I had an appetite today and enjoyed avocado toast and even wanted a normal cup of coffee. Brandon will tell you that anytime I'm sick, I just want hot tea and honey. Chandler slept through the night and did great! No wake ups, no crying to sleep, no need for mommy or daddy to get up and soothe him back to sleep (which we never mind doing of-course). He woke up at 7am, we did our normal routine: rocker cuddles and nursing (really savoring nursing right now since I know we're on the last chapters of it), big boy breakfast in his Tripp Trapp chair (which I totally love) of fresh strawberries, yogurt melts, and small bit of vanilla yogurt (going easy in case it upsets his tummy since dairy is brand new to him). He seems to love yogurt! We played for a bit and then it was nap time. I made him his very last Alimentum formula bottle, rocked him to sleep, and put him in his crib for nap time. It's so bittersweet to be done with formula no. Throwing away the last empty container made me want to cry because I so clearly remember the early newborn days of struggling with milk supply and needing to supplement. I remember feeling so guilty that I was going to offer him formula, yet so insanely relieved when he gulped down 2oz and fell asleep, full and happy! I remember my mom's encouragement and support that it was okay to give formula! I remember the relief of knowing I always had formula as a backup in case I had a low breastmilk supply that day, we were traveling, or he was going to be with daddy or Nanny Taylor for the day. I found so much comfort going into Target after our little gym days and getting a few containers of formula- I grew to feel confident in selecting the right type and felt like a mommy buying her baby what he needs to grow and thrive. So yes, while I am happy to not have the financial obligation and the task of buying formula so we don't run out, I'm also very happy to be moving forward! Forward means my baby is growing as he should. Forward means we've done a great job meeting his needs. Forward means less money spent of $40 cans of formula and instead $6 spent of cow's milk. Forward means a new chapter and new memories. Of-course I will still be nursing him on-demand when he wants but with his long 10-11hr stretches of sleep at night, eating more real food during the day, interest in food, and overall desire to get up and play versus lay and nurse, my milk supply has naturally responded to his need and started to decrease. I can now go a full day without feeling uncomfortable or full, whereas I used to only be able to go about 3 hours before really needing to nurse him. I no longer pump, which is also bittersweet! I didn't love pumping and especially found it challenging to plan for pumping at work but I also loved bringing home my 6oz and freezing it for a future bottle. I will soon be putting up my breast pump, it's pieces, and my HAAKA into our storage container for either next baby or donation. Just typing the word HAAKA takes me back to the first 8 weeks and the long nights of up all night. The 4 overnight feedings, the 2am bonding while the world slept and the house was quiet. So much love and effort, so much growing together. I'm so proud of us and what we accomplished together. How we grew together, learned together, and encouraged one another.. all of us... me, Chandler, and Brandon. I know our nursing sessions are few to come but I will cherish the bond we made and I look forward to watching Chandler grow into a little boy! I'm so honored to have been able to give him what he needed/wanted by nursing and will forever cherish our breastfeeding days.