Week 11 09-10-21

 9-10: Today was rough. I had my 3rd Consortia appointment today and that was great but leaving Chandler behind is getting harder and harder because he absolutely hates the bottle! It breaks my heart to hear/see him bawling when I get home and I hate feeling like I'm setting Brandon up for failure when I leave because we both anticipate that Chandler is going to fight it. Fortunately, he only needs a bottle when I'm at work, which is only 4-6 days a month, but it still is the saddest thing. I feel so guilty but I don't know what else to do. Thankfully, mom came today to help us watch him this weekend since I work back to back and also since it's my first long clinical day of the semester. I'm so, so thankful and relieved she will be here with him and to help support Brandon. He won't have to give up his cycle ride and he will also have the extra help! She is able to give him a bottle just fine so I'm hopeful that the sitters we've arranged will too! I've read that babies just don't take bottles from moms and sometimes dads when they are used to being breastfed and around the two often during breastfeeding times. The morning was awful overall; I cried out of guilt and sadness and Brandon was rightfully upset and felt like he couldn't parent well because Chandler wouldn't eat for him. Brandon had to go to work and eventually we all calmed down. Mom kept Chandler so I could go pick up Bethany's veil, get some new scrubs and lab coat (which I really like), and then Brandon and I had our first real dinner date night alone since the night before Chandler was born! We went to Satellite and it was good as always. We were tired and it's been a challenging week so I'll be honest that dinner wasn't as romantic and engaging as I had hoped it would be but it was still nice to get out together for an hour and have a good meal! Mom and Chandler had a great time while we were gone and that makes me so happy! She took him to the pocket park to swing, read him books, fed him without any trouble, bathed him, and got him dressed for bed in his new adorable dinosaur sleep sack! I'm so happy she's here and the extra help before I go back tomorrow is deeply, deeply appreciated!