In His Time

Today, October 12th, 2020, after years of trying to conceive a child, Brandon and I found out that God has found favor in us and we are indeed going to be parents!!!! We are in the midst of a million emotions and experiencing more joy than we ever have before! I absolutely cannot gather my thoughts around the fact that I'm going have a baby!!! I'm going to be a mommy!!! We are going to be a family of three!!!!

Brandon and I have kept our Infertility journey out of the public eye and instead between ourselves, my journal, and those we trust most. We made that decision not because we wanted to avoid talking about it, but rather because we needed the intimacy of sharing our pain and struggle with one another and in the company of those that anchored us. We are not naïve to notice that although many surround us in love, we also live in a world of social media madness and platforms whereby people who are not for you, can gain pleasure out of your pain, and also make your business their business. We simply chose to safeguard our journey and marriage. We are so blessed to have been supported by Dr. Capet and Jessica, NP, our beautiful friends at Austin Life Church- specifically our Bible Study Community Group, Brittney (who offered to be my surrogate), Bethany (who walked tirelessly alongside me and absorbed my pain as her own), Brook (who supported our next steps in fostering/adopting and spoke words of encouragement to us, and our mothers (who gently inquired but also knew when to not ask questions and instead just love us well). Jesus knew we would encounter infertility but He had already placed the people in our lives who He would work through to bring us peace and comfort. It is through Him that we braved each week and found the courage to keep trying. It is through Him that our purposes were revealed more to us. It is through Him that we leaned how to trust in God's Sovereignty and feel joy when the waters raged against us. It is for our own good and His glory that we have battled the war of infertility. 

I am excited to capture my thoughts and photos in this new blog and will of-course be keeping a more intimate paper journal as well for those days that my heart longs to hand write what I'm feeling. 

To my baby- you are and have always been so wanted!! I have thought of you every single day and knowing I would hold you one day is what comforted me in the isolation and long sleepless nights. Your daddy and I love you and are so thankful for you. We are honored to be your parents and promise to always take care of you and lead you well. 

Your Mommy